; a night of drama

Okay, I won't wanna blog too detailed bout the happenings.

Gotta protect some people's privacy.

I do feel guilty for crashing his chalet. It was his birthday celebration after all. But.. I don't think he deserves anything less. Especially towards Judith. I have nothing but antipathy towards him now. Nonchalance, in a way. No more disgust, no more anger or guilt. Like Dick said, we knew each other for only two weeks. If it's true that yes, I was just someone to spite Judith, cool. It wasn't like I was in love with him or anything lol, and everyone knows that, and who's the one I really care about. I made it clear even to him himself. (:

I wish you two both the best, and I do hope you can work things out. I just hope you know that, I didn't tell stuff to Judith just to get you into shit. We happened to talk, and gosh. Everything came spilling out on both sides. All the stories, and lies from you. I like people to be happy, I have no reason to try and spoil things between you guys. Why would I end it otherwise? Why would I turn you down because of her? So yup, I'm DEFINITELY not jealous or anything lol. I've got my own problems to deal with, and fortunately, it doesn't concern you at all. I don't even think I wanna have anything to do with you.

Oh yes, in case everyone thinks I'm this total bitch/flirt/whatever, like Calv told me, let me make it clear. I broke up with him before I went down to meet Michelle with another guy to collect her IC. And the guy was just a good brother of mine. Nothing else. So, people don't assume alright?

And if you really want your money for the cabs back, sure. Lol. Just please, don't make it sound like I leeched from you. The time you asked me whether I can go home myself, I told you of course. Other times, did I not tell you I can go home myself, it's okay you don't have to send me home? You insisted. Did I not tell you we can drop off at TP first the night you were drunk? Did I not shove a note in your hand? Another time I told you to go home first. You insisted on sending me back. Did I try to pay for stuff, but you just go it's okay baby? You know the truth yeah. I've never been a money leecher and I didn't start being one with you please.

I enjoyed your company this two weeks, and your friendship. I'm sorry things turned out this way. But there's no helping it. Things always get complicated when a relationship comes in. So, friendship left or not, I don't really wanna care about it. I wish I never entered your life. And I guess you wish you never entered mine. Everything would be so much easier.

Sigh. Which brings me to the problem.

I now know what it is, but I still can't figure out WHY. I mean, friends with him, so what? ):

Didn't I make it clear that You're the one that matters?

Thanks for the hug anyway. It felt sweet though kinda awkward hahaha. (:

I love you. My softie who likes to act tough. Let those walls down please. I need you. I really, really do.